The hits just keep coming

Well Aero and I are buying a house, talk about stressful! There are some things wrong with it, but i think we'll get everything settled in time of the closing. I don't know why we decided to take this on right before the wedding....we must have been drunk when making that decision!

So with the excitement and stress of buying the house, I'm also looking for a job and quitting smoking. I'm finding it harder and harder to quit when my mind is just going crazy thoughts running around my head. I'm trying to make plans for the move and what I want to do with the house. I have a few ideas, but they're going to take awhile to put into effect. I've been watching HGTV to get some ideas too. I've seen some great things there, you know if I had a spare 30 grand laying around. I'm sure I can find things on a budget.

I also got some news today. I found out that Eleven is going to be moving sooner than expected. Her plans fell through to take over Ginger and Gilligan's  apartment. I'm going to be without any friends sooner than I anticipated. It's stressing me out pretty bad. I don't feel like I can talk to them about it because I don't want to bring anyone down. They are so excited about the move...I don't want anyone to feel like they can't discuss things around me.

I'm really tired of being so emotional, I know Aero hates it. I try to not let him see me cry either, I don't want him to think it's because of him. Well that and he told me he feels so hopeless when he sees me like this. I don't want to be the cause of him feeling that way.

I'm still trying to quit smoking too, and this whole situation is not making it any easier. I am having more and more cravings that are harder to ignore. Aero told me he was ok with me getting a pack as long as I can promise to only smoke one...the problem is I can't. I'm so stressed right now that there is no way I can promise that. I need to talk to him about it though...I'm afraid if I don't I'm just going to buy a pack and hide it from him. That is too much like lying to me.